non-specific nonsense ★

bye bye! i have decided that i’m not even going to be lurking on tumblr until the beginning of...

Wed, 22 May 2013 01:18:00 -0400

bye bye!

i have decided that i’m not even going to be lurking on tumblr until the beginning of the summer. i hope that this leave will help me feel better and do well on my exams.

you too, please take care of yourself. try to find the one thing that will bring you happiness and make you want to push onto the future, that’s what keeps us humans going after all. ❤

i know what it is for me, so i need to do my best now.

and when the dream comes true, i’ll be really happy.

i may be taking leave but if you ever need someone, you know how to reach me.

just come to my ask box and i’ll get the notification.

i promise i will be there as fast as i can to help you out!

otherwise, you know i am always thinking about you.

please don’t make me worry, i really do care about you! so… without further ado, take good care of yourself and see you soon.

Statice, lisianthus, sweet pea (thats you)!!!

Wed, 22 May 2013 01:14:00 -0400

statice (what do you like to remember?)

I hope that I’m interpreting this question correctly, since some people have answered it memory-wise (whereas in that case, I like to reminiscence about my childhood). ^^; But here are just some of the personal rules I go by in my everyday life and I hope they can help you too!

- It’s okay to feel the way that you feel even if it’s awful.

- You need to let yourself do and feel certain things because other people aren’t going to let you.

- Lots of things aren’t going to be as significant as you think they are. Be excruciatingly realistic with yourself!

- You are worth more than dancing around for other people’s approval, and more than likely they don’t care as much as you think they do so do what you want! If someone doesn’t stick around, then it wasn’t meant to be and you don’t need to have a heartbreak over it, I promise.

- Anxiety is love’s greatest killer.

- Never do anything for another person while expecting praise, appreciation, or reciprocation.

- When you do things, you have to think about it like, “I am doing this for myself. I am doing this because I want to.” It might seem like it’s selfish, but it’s more selfless in the long run because you’re not going to be resentful of other people.

- Schadenfreude is, for the most part, really unproductive. Be happy for others or pay them no mind. Your happiness will come soon enough, I promise.

- The more uncomfortable that something makes you, the more important it is for you to understand it.

- Just because your life stinks doesn’t mean you stink.

- Don’t let anybody ever make you feel guilty for what they choose to do to themselves after you’ve done all that you can to help them. It is not your fault. It is not your fault. It is not your fault. Not everything is your fault. That’s too narcissistic!!

- You’re going through hell and it seems like there’s no point. Keep going.

- Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Otherwise, you may never get the chance to go anywhere.

- Life is pretty simple - it’s just not easy.

- Don’t keep yourself too idle. You have too much you could be doing and you don’t want to be miserable for no reason.

- Nighttime can bring out the worst in all of us. If you feel sad, just go to bed. Morning will come and you will feel better!

lisianthus (what do you appreciate?)

I already answered this to mega-nerd down there, but I also greatly appreciate you!!!! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

sweet pea (are you delicate or sweet?)

Awwww!!!! I don’t think I could ever use the word “sweet” to describe myself but honestly, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I was the nicest or sweetest person, then I’d be a billionaire by now (´；ω；`) Also, all the times I’ve gotten rejected or people have complained about me behind my back because I am too “nice and boring”…

I’m just happy to hear that people think I’m nice because I’m being honest and there’s nothing I’m trying to gain from people from acting that way. So you’ll always know how I honestly feel! Though, I do have this habit where, the more that I am put off to somebody initially, the nicer I will be to them/the more nice things that I do for them, to the point where a lot of the time they end up warming up towards me and wanting to be my friend. Incidentally, Saint Thérèse of Lisieux also had this habit. LOL ❤❤

peony & lisianthus!

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:31:00 -0400

peony (are you lucky?)

WOW THIS ISN’T A GOOD DAY FOR YOU IS IT NERD I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS!!!

lisianthus (what do you appreciate?)

I know a lot of this is going to sound generic, but it’s the truth! ^^; Being alive and having a healthy body (lmao to both of these at the moment though…) being able to live comfortably, people who make the entire human race look amazing (those who are talented, kind, thoughtful, mature, strong, noble, ect. We must always remember that people like this exist!), people who try their best every day even if they are going through the worst, every kind word that people have given to me, everything that has been done to make me happy, having a relatively free schedule because I need a lot of rest, how far I’ve come as a person and in my talents even if it doesn’t feel like it a lot of the time, how some of the things that people envy most come to me naturally such as kindness, maturity, and curiosity… those rare moments when I feel perfect and I don’t want to be anybody else in the entire world.

… and you!! ❤

peony, sunflower, fresia <3

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:27:00 -0400

peony (are you lucky?)

Out of all the questions there were, this was the most confusing one for me… I’m assuming you’re talking about good luck! In which case… even though it varies a lot from every day, I think my luck is pretty OK!✰

I used to be so happy with life and everything that happened to me, even the bad things, because I thought everything just happened the way it was supposed to for me. That no matter what, I was still going to live the best life ever. I’m lucky in that I’m living a comfortable life money-wise (for example, if anybody here saw what my house looked like they would probably say I have nothing to complain about) and I’ve never seriously hurt myself (breaking bones, for example)… but also unlucky in the sense that I have had to deal with a lot of bad things in my life for a while now.

sunflower (what brings you happiness?)

I think that daydreaming and creating things (whether it’s art, writing, music, concepts, and design) bring me the most happiness in this world, it’s what I live for and the reason I can still get through anything, honestly. Which is where my deep love of Vocaloid (❤) comes from — it is one of the things that brings me constant happiness and inspiration.

Wearing my nicest clothes, taking a walk by myself in nature, letting myself take it easy when I need it most, doing something a little out of the ordinary, having a good conversation with another person, to feel alive and free and like I wouldn’t want to be anybody else in the entire world, the hope that one day, everything will be so much better - that brings me happiness. Oh! And to be able to make another person happy, and to see somebody that I love be happy….

It is difficult for me to answer this question because this world itself brings me happiness. If you show me a picture of the Earth, I will rarely feel anything other than warmth inside my heart.

fresia (who is your best friend?)

I do not have one (anymore). ;;; in fact, to say I have any friends at all, anywhere… is like the biggest joke ever. I have been so isolated and insignificant for so long that it feels like I’ve been alone for my entire life.

I always felt a little uncomfortable using the term “best friend” because I don’t want to rank my friends! (if you get to the friend stage you are already so important after all.) However, I have had friends that were so close and dear to me that I couldn’t help thinking of as “best friends,” and although they are not so anymore, I have the honor of being able to say that everybody who has ever known me as their best friend has said that I was the best friend they ever had. ; _ ; I’m very glad to have been able to bring them happiness if only for a short time.

But now I’m alone. I’ve been alone for a really long time now. It wasn’t fair that I was told “so many people care about you, so much!” because that just wasn’t the truth for me, and still isn’t. Even though any friend of mine reading this should know that I care about you so much I can’t even put a cap on it, I don’t think I can call anybody my best friend right now because everyone I love has a more important friend than me. “Best friends” is something that has to go both ways after all…. Even after making some friends on here a new insecurity has stemmed in which I still feel like a guardian rather than a friend because I’m afraid nobody ever sees me for anything other than “nice” and “supportive.” I thought that from now on, instead of trying to make any more connections, I would turn my heart to steel and not care about being alone anymore, because living to wait for love has broken me. But maybe I should have just let myself wish that one day, somebody will care about me again so much. I can’t recall the feeling that you mean the world to another person, I only know that I feel that way towards others and that it makes them happy. I hope that one day I get to feel that there is somebody who wants to be my friend more than anybody else in the entire world. Only me, because I am me. Because in their eyes, I am just the most beautiful and special girl.

Flower asks

Mon, 20 May 2013 22:21:20 -0400

Roses: Who is your love interest?
Lilacs: Do you consider yourself beautiful and innocent?
Irises: Do you have words worth spreading? Wise words?
Gladiolus: Are you violent?
Lilies: Have you lost someone important to you?
Protea: Are you courageous?
Peony: Are you lucky?
Orchid: Are you a charming person?
Statice: What do you like to remember?
Sun flower: What brings you happiness?
Lisianthus: What do you appreciate?
Sweet pea: Are you delicate or sweet?
Tulip: Are you elegant or graceful?
Hydrangea: Have you endured/suffered for beauty?
Fresia: Who is your best friend?

tanakagudnam: NEW MIKITOP SONG! 【初音ミク】僕は初音ミクとキスをした...

Sat, 18 May 2013 13:27:00 -0400

tanakagudnam:

NEW MIKITOP SONG!

【初音ミク】僕は初音ミクとキスをした【オリジナルMV】

【Hatsune Miku】 Boku wa Hatsune Miku to Kisu wo Shita 【Original MV】

You’re good at what you do. ’ // by: [♥]

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:14:00 -0400

You’re good at what you do. ’ // by: [♥]

I’ve really enjoyed being so mysterious and I’m even proud of myself for exercising so...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 23:31:30 -0400

I’ve really enjoyed being so mysterious and I’m even proud of myself for exercising so much self-control all these years…

but so that I don’t explode, maybe I’ll reveal a little more of myself soon.

ふふふ❤

2dicon: 「5周年！」/「ume」の漫画 [pixiv]

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 22:03:00 -0400

2dicon:

「5周年！」/「ume」の漫画 [pixiv]

i’m sorry, i just can’t ignore this… i still...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:17:00 -0400

i’m sorry, i just can’t ignore this…

i still have hope that if i send this message out you will see it, because i was just able to follow your blog and it says that you updated 8 hours ago.

so okay. this is going to sound so sudden and stupid, but this is really, really your anonymous friend! yes, this is her, i promise with all of my heart. had the situation remained constant, i don’t know if i would have ever revealed my identity to you like this, but if you don’t know who i am, then this message is going to make no sense to you, my friend.

my heart nearly stopped when i checked your blog today. i have been worrying and wondering for so long how you have been. i was so afraid that i had taken too long responding to your message that you thought i had forgotten about you and gotten upset and locked your account… or that things might’ve gotten really bad where you were and you thought there wasn’t any way out…

even though it broke my heart every time to see the password lock on your blog, i continued to check your page multiple times throughout the year, hoping that something would change… i was beginning to think it never would, and that i would never know what happened to you until i thought of you again today and i checked your page and i saw this message.

i’m just at a loss for words. i’m sure everything is coming out so stupid and i’m sorry! but… just… thank you for updating your blog again. thank you for missing me enough, and for caring for me enough to talk to me. i am so, so grateful to know that you are alive, and judging from your goodbye message, that the reason you locked your blog wasn’t because of me. even if you don’t ever respond to this message (though i hope you will, because i am really worried about what you mean by you cannot return…) please just know who your anonymous friend was and where you can find her if you ever, ever want to talk again.

i promise i won’t turn you away. i don’t want anything in this world to hurt you ever again. but i cannot force you to talk to me, and i don’t want to make anything harder for you. please, wherever you are, don’t ever give up, keep staying strong like i know you must have up until now, but remember you are not alone. i am here, i am fighting for you, and i will never, have never, forgotten about you.

thank you for coming back to me. if the only time we got to reconnect was through a goodbye, i hope we really will meet again someday.

love, a(non)

Question!!

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 00:16:06 -0400

Hi… Can I ask, how do you guys feel about me?

I guess this is similar to the post I saw floating around a while back about “give me your honest impression of me / and I’m not allowed to answer.”

I’m not expecting anything big, since I’ve rarely posted anything personal on here… but if there are still people following me, then I’m curious… how come you’re still staying with me? What kind of person do you think I am? How do you feel about me? Have you ever wanted to say something about or to me…? Because I’d like to hear it!

I often reflect on how small and invisible this blog is, and so how I never get any mysterious attention. Nevertheless, it seems that throughout these past years of invisibility…there have been some people who found me… so I don’t think it’s the most impossible thing I could ask…

Every other blog I’ve seen receives some sort of viewer following except for me, and I’ve never really been on the receiving end of anonymous attention, so I guess I’d like to initiate it this time. (´；ω；`)

I want to hear from somebody for once instead of always being the person heard from!

Thank you for anyone who answers this, no matter what they say (well, maybe except “don’t ask this question because it’s impossible”), good or bad.

I really appreciate you hearing out my request. ❤

✰ 特別のウサギ王子のために ✰

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 00:14:00 -0400

I drew some pictures!!!

For a very important person. I’m cheering her on all the time! ^^////

Nothing in this world can bring you down, rabbit prince. Blast through all of your troubles like a rabbit blasts through danger!!!

I know that wherever you are, even at your “weakest” you are trying your best, and you are so strong. So please.. don’t berate yourself, and please keep stepping forward!

Best of luck, rabbit prince!

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Wed, 06 Feb 2013 23:32:00 -0500

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Happy birthday, RK!!! ♡♡♡

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 16:59:00 -0400

Happy birthday, RK!!! ♡♡♡

Hello, everyone. I’m sorry as always for never posting...

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 19:08:00 -0400

Hello, everyone. I’m sorry as always for never posting anything. But thank you for continuing to follow me and thank you especially to those who follow me because they consider me a friend. I’m currently in the process of deciding whether or not to delete and start over from scratch, or just continue the way I’ve been going regarding this blog and I’m really sorry that it’s taking so long for me to make a decision because I can’t settle on an aesthetic. But if it bothers you, please do feel free to unfollow. I know that there’s no point in following an inactive blog, though I can say with utmost sincerity that I always did want to post things that my few followers and friends would like. But to those who won’t unfollow, and are willing to continue waiting for me, please accept this song as a token of my appreciation, because I really, really do appreciate it. ;_; I’ll make sure that the kind of non-specific nonsense I have to present to you in the future is something worth waiting for. Thank you for reading. ❤

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Wed, 11 Jul 2012 22:54:03 -0400

non-specific nonsense ★

bye bye! i have decided that i’m not even going to be lurking on tumblr until the beginning of...

Statice, lisianthus, sweet pea (thats you)!!!

peony & lisianthus!

peony, sunflower, fresia <3

Flower asks

tanakagudnam: NEW MIKITOP SONG! 【初音ミク】 僕は初音ミクとキスをした...

You’re good at what you do. ’ // by: [♥]

I’ve really enjoyed being so mysterious and I’m even proud of myself for exercising so...

2dicon: 「5周年！」/「ume」の漫画 [pixiv]

i’m sorry, i just can’t ignore this… i still...

Question!!

✰ 特別のウサギ王子のために ✰

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Happy birthday, RK!!! ♡♡♡

Hello, everyone. I’m sorry as always for never posting...

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tanakagudnam: NEW MIKITOP SONG! 【初音ミク】僕は初音ミクとキスをした...